Losing myself sylo3/30/2023 ![]() Informal caregivers are usually family members or friends that help someone with their activities of daily living such as cooking, bathing, dressing, mobility, etc. While many forms of service can create a loss of self, disruptions in the sense of self are a particularly prevalent issue among informal caregivers and parents. ![]() that we end up looking to them for identity or, even worse, for self-worth?”įor more on losing yourself in a relationship, check out these videos: Video: Codependency: Do You Lose Yourself in a Relationship? Is it any wonder that, tied up in relying on a partner for compassion, reassurance, sexual excitement, financial partnership, etc. “As almost all of our communal institutions give way to a heightened sense of individualism, we look more frequently to our partner to provide the emotional and physical resources that a village or community used to provide. ![]() Renowned psychotherapist, Esther Perel, argues that the well-intentioned desire to be everything for someone is also a risk to an independent identity (Perel, 2022): For example, making sacrifices and compromises to accommodate your partner is theoretically an admirable act of love and commitment, but we can easily lose ourselves if we don’t know when to stop. In fact, this process can be catalyzed entirely by good intentions. Losing yourself in a relationship isn’t necessarily a reflection of an unhealthy relationship. In other words, we lose ourselves when we allow someone else to determine who we are (even when that someone else is someone we love very much). When you lose yourself in a relationship, often it’s because the contribution your role in the relationship makes to your identity is disproportionate to the contribution of all the other things that make you who you are. Embedded in a social role are the standards, meanings, and expectations associated with it, which ultimately contribute to identity construction (Eifert et al., 2015). Causes of Losing Yourselfīeing part of an intimate relationship is accompanied by the assumption of a social role such as companion, partner, or spouse. This leaves us feeling distant or disconnected from ourselves-like we’re losing ourselves. When we lose one of our pillars of self we’re left with a void in our identity and buckling of the structure that mediated our interactions with the world. Taking a high-level approach to understanding the term, ‘self’ can be used to refer to two experiential themes : (1) Our bodily self that is the center of our first-hand experience of the world, and (2) our narrative self that weaves together our history, experiences, interests, social roles, relationships, values, and aspirations into a fluid but coherent identity (Milliere, 2017).Įach of these elements around which our identities are organized provides a set of behavioral standards and expectations, a sort of framework that helps shape our actions and perceptions (Eifert et al., 2015). The self is a cryptic term that we use to refer to multiple facets of our existence as a human. Sylo Nozra's comments have been edited for length and clarity.Before we can get into what it means to lose yourself, we need to clarify what we mean by ‘yourself’. "That motivational aspect of the book really resonates with me the most." Everyone has people that don't believe in them - or the world basically tells them that it's not possible. It motivates me because, you know, everyone has haters. It looks at the hardships that they went through, the resentment that they've experienced and the people who tried to sabotage or deny them from reaching their true potential. "The book demystifies that, through the stories that it tells of people from the past. Everyone has people that don't believe in them - or the world basically just tells them that it's not possible. "For some people, we see that as the state of being a genius - Leonardo da Vinci or Einstein for example - people who in the past have shown great, tremendous aptitude and ability to be able to do certain things. "Mastery is talking about the process of any creative endeavour on the road to mastery. Nozra spoke with The Next Chapterabout what he loves about the book. The book he's currently reading is Mastery by Robert Greene, a self-help book that explores the lives of historical figures and examines what led to their success. His music incorporates elements of pop, rock, R&B and electronic sounds, as heard through well-received songs such as Pink Towel, Citrus, Losing Myself and Spirits Sylo Nozra is a Korean Canadian singer-songwriter and producer who was raised in Thornhill, Ont.
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